If we are to live rich and meaningful lives, painful thoughts and feelings are going to come along for the ride. If I love with all my heart, at some point I will get hurt. If I value doing a great job at work, sometimes I will make mistakes and look like a fool. If I want to really connect with someone, I have to show vulnerability.
So, what is the best approach to handling the painful thoughts and feelings that are an inevitable part of life? Russ Harris suggests letting go of strategies that don’t work in the long run, such as:
- Ignoring your painful thoughts and feelings
- Believing your painful thoughts and feelings
- Not believing your painful thoughts and feelings
- Resisting your painful thoughts and feelings
- Letting your painful thoughts and feelings control your behaviour.
Instead, Steve Hayes suggests:
- Honouring your pain the way you would honour a friend by listening
- Walking with your pain the way you would walk with a crying baby
- Carrying your pain the way you carry a picture in your wallet
Could you show yourself that compassion when you are in pain?
